maybe i have too much expectation. maybe what i want is unattainable. maybe i did this to myself. maybe. i've no other avenue. no other outlet to vent my frustrations. to pour out my sorrows. i don't tell anyone anymore. because people expect me to be happy now. i am. but it's not perfect. i know things aren't supposed to be perfect. but we should at least try right? i know i didn't before. but i sure as hell am trying now. but everything's changed. the roles have switched. hasn't it? i don't think anyone truly understands how i feel. all i want is happiness. i will not let myself turn into a mindless person. just so things can run smooth. i cannot let myself do that. will not. i deserve more than that. small things are okay to let slide. not big ones. even though one might think it's a trivial matter. they are important to me. maybe i'm just not used to the change. maybe i'm the one who caused it. maybe not. everything i do now is scrutinized under a microscope. i'm walking a very thin line. nothing i do is great anymore. why do people have to give up something for another thing? that's always the case. we can never ever have our pie and get to eat it too. i'm just tired. i know you are too.